In small churches, each member has a greater impact.  This tends to attract control freaks.  But we can deal with them lovingly and effectively.

It’s hard to be an anonymous audience member in a small church.  But it’s much easier to exert your influence.  So what does the small church pastor do when we feel hindered by control freaks?

1.  Don’t try to Out-Control Them.  Trying to control a control freak is like fighting over the steering wheel in a moving car.  No one wins and everyone gets hurt.  Including the innocent passengers.
2. Don’t Use the Position of Pastor to Shut People Down.  “Because I’m the pastor!” is the worse thing you can ever say.  By the time you feel the need to say it, you’ve already lost more than you can realize.  It will be a big step away from long-term goals.  Battle won, war lost.
3. Don’t Move Too Fast   Pastors tend to earn the right to be heard.  The small the church, the more the listening matters.  Understanding the complex interweaving of a small church’s relationships, culture and history takes time.
4. Don’t Move Too Slow    There’s a window of opportunity in every leadership situation.  Move too early and they’re not ready.  Move too late and you’ve lost momentum.  How to find the sweet spot?  There’s no universal rule because every small church is unique.  That’s why knowing the church’s relationships, culture and history is so important.  It gives us the information we need to time it right.
5. Assume Right Motives Until Proven Otherwise    It’s easy to assume that people with control issues have wrong motivations.  Control freaks usually have good motives but are going about it the wrong way.  Be careful not to assign evil intentions to people without ample evidence.
6. Outlove Them and Outlive Them    Some control freaks are the concerned member who’ve been burned before.  Earn their trust and you can win them back.

None of these points are magic bullets.  Sometimes the control freaks are so embedded, they make pastoring the church impossible.  Sometimes the control freaks outlive the pastor.

But even if that happens, we need to love them.  Really and truly live them.  Even if they never let go of control, we need to rise above the battle.