The suicide death of a young pastor is being felt throughout the world. Andrew Stoecklein, lead pastor of Inland Hills Church in Chino, California, left behind his wife, Kayla, and three young sons.

Please Hear Me Well

This post right now is not about the prevention of suicide. There are people who are professionals much better prepared to deal with that.

What I would like to touch on in this article is to have a frank discussion with church members. I want you to hear me clearly. I’d like to offer one way you can help.

The Struggle of Pastors

Most pastors are not suicidal. But what I’m learning in my travels with The Pastor’s Project most pastors do struggle, They lead churches in a culture that is not friendly to their calling. Three-fourth of them lead churches that are struggling by almost any measure. Many pastors are on the precipice of quitting, and most church members have no idea of their inner turmoil.

In the midst of these cultural and congregational challenges, these pastors see a decided shift among the members. Their commitment level is low, and their frequency of attendance is decreasing. Many of the members are in the congregation to get their personal preferences fulfilled. And if you mess with their preferred worship style. order of worship, time of worship, color of the carpet, or any facet of the church facility, they will let you know. Their trinitarian priority is me, myself and I.

These pastors have been stabbed in the front by church members and stabbed in the back by other staff. They love their church members, but they are deeply hurt when that love is returned with cynicism, criticism, and apathy.

One Way to Help

Yet, these pastors tell me, the greatest pain is not the criticism and cynicism by some of the members. The greatest pain is when the “good members” remain silent, what they do nothing to come to the aid and defense of their pastors. Instead they are tearing down their pastor with their malignant silence.

The one thing you can do as a church member is to stand up for your pastor in the midst of the ongoing and vociferous criticism. Speak up, don’t shut up. Let the ill-intending critics and cynics know you support your pastor, and you are there for your pastor.

Your pastor can withstand the barbs and insults and tepid commitment of most church members. That is the world pastors have sadly come to expect. But your pastors can only withstand them if they know they have some vocal and visible advocates and encouragers.

Please stand up. Please speak up.

It may be the single greatest difference maker in your pastor’s ministry.