When Pastors Experience Depression

Welcome to a series of articles by The Pastor’s Project that will address the mental health issues facing so many pastors today.  Pastors have been seen for generations as those individuals that are the lighthouse for others struggling in the sea of mental health issues.  Little did any of those sitting in the sanctuary listening to their pastor preach dream that it was he who was lost and searching for answers to why he felt like all life was against him.

Depression was once a topic reserved for “other people.”  It certainly was not something those in the ministry experienced right?  My memory may not be what it once was but I do not remember a class in Bible College that addressed the issue of depression…for the pastor.  It’s hard to be a superhero for a congregation if you admit to being overwhelmed with life’s challenges.  Additionally, who can a pastor turn to and ask for help and in doing so and risk losing his job?  It would be more accurate to say that ministers rarely admit that they are depressed.  How could pastors and other ministers who have the call of God on their lives experience that dark valley of depression?

The problem of depression in the ministry is not only real but that it is growing.  The rate of depression among ministers is now higher than the rate of the general population.  

What are the causes of depression in the life of a pastor?  My list of possible causes is not exhaustive but it based upon today’s research and data from several Christian based institutions. 

1. Spiritual warfare.  The enemy does not want God’s servants to be effective in ministry.  Satan will do whatever it takes to hurt ministers and their ministries.
2. Unrealistic expectations.  The expectations and demands upon a pastor are enormous.  They are unrealistic. But if one person’s expectations are not met, that person can quickly let the pastor know he is a failure.
3. Greater platform for critics.  Today’s critics have the visible and pervasive platforms of email, blogs, Twitter, Facebook, and other social media.
4. Failure to take time away from the church or place of ministry.  Workaholism leads to burnout.  Burnout leads to depression.
5. Marriage and family problems.  Too often the pastor neglects his family as he cares for the church family.  Many pastor’s wives feel like the church is the other woman in the marriage.
6. Financial strains.  Many of today’s pastors simply do not have sufficient income from their churches they serve.  That financial stress can lead to depression.  Additionally, some pastors do not know how to manage the money they do have, leading to further financial strain.
7. The problem of comparison.  Every pastor and I do mean every pastor, will always know of a church that is larger and more effective.  Every pastor will always know of another pastor who seems more successful.  The comparison game can be debilitating to many pastors.

Next In Part Two:  Seeking to Help and Offer Solutions for Pastors Dealing with Depression

MayDay!

I bet at one time or another we’ve all heard the phrase, “Mayday! Mayday!”  Watch any old war movie and there’s a chance you’ll hear it.  But have you ever heard how the term mayday came into being?

The ‘mayday’ procedure word was originated in 1923, by a senior radio officer at Croydon Airport in London.  The officer, Frederick Stanley Mockford, was asked to think of a word that would indicate distress and would easily be understood by all pilots and ground staff in an emergency.  Since much of the traffic at the time was between Croydon and Le Bourget Airport in Paris, Mockford proposed the expression “mayday” from the French m’aider’ (‘help me’), a shortened form of ‘venez m’aider’ (‘come and help me’)

Here is what pilots are trained to report with a Mayday call:

Mayday, Mayday, Mayday; (Name of station addressed); Aircraft call sign and type; Nature of emergency; Weather; Pilot’s intentions and/or requests; Present position and heading, or if lost then last known position and heading and time when aircraft was at that position.  Altitude or Flight level; Fuel remaining in minutes; Number of souls onboard; Any other useful information.

As I was researching the origin of the mayday call another word came to mind…”urgency”.  That word means; ‘importance requiring swift action.’

When a ‘mayday’ call is received, say at an airport control tower there is an immediate sense of urgency.  Each time I watch the documentaries on the aircraft during the 9-11/World Trade Center tragedy those air traffic control operators each responded with a sense of urgency.  Everyone knew the protocol involved with the mayday messages they were receiving.  Additionally, they relied on other controllers and even other air traffic in the area to provide information.  Each understood the seriousness of the desperate situation the aircraft was experiencing. Urgency was paramount.  How could these aircraft and their souls be saved?

So let’s take a moment and do this.  Go back to the mayday call message.  Instead of using an airline passenger jet lets use a church.  How about a rural church?  Or a smaller church.  Go a step further and let’s use a pastor at any church.

Wouldn’t it be a crime and the answer is ‘yes’ if a passenger jet issued a mayday call and even though it was received by an air traffic controller he didn’t respond?

My friends, I believe it’s not any different for our churches and the pastors who are out there serving our Lord that find themselves in ‘mayday’ situations.

Here at The Pastor’s Project, I wish you could hear some of the distress calls I’ve heard from pastors.  Or the number of rural and small churches who in the language of the Mayday distress call have ‘only enough fuel for a few more minutes.’  Each of them carries a number of souls on board who without help will be left behind without spiritual parachutes.

I understand many of our ministers serve congregations that are flying at 32,000 feet, cruising along at 500mph, in calm skies without any trublence making good time to their destinations. Their ‘plane’ is full of happy and satisfied customers being served refreshments and watching in-flight movies.

That my brothers is not the norm for the church today and very well could be the exception. According to organizations like Focus on the Family, Barna Institute, and National Church Growth Institute, there needs to be a greater sense of urgency for the church to answer the mayday call being sent by rural churches and pastors.

One of my goals with The Pastor’s Project, and yes I’m just one control tower, is to answer mayday calls.  Another objective is to educate and to reveal to healthier congregations and believers the overwhelming need of a response to these calls.

Tonight as you read this there is a pastor, young and old, who is at the breaking point.  He no longer has the will to issue a mayday call.  He will crash into the sea of depression.  There’s a rural church that has served its community for decades.  Many served as a runway for young Bible College preachers learning how to fly.  Now they find themselves needing help in being revitalized to continue to serve the Lord.

So when the call goes out, “Mayday, Mayday, Mayday” which of you will answer?

The Pastor’s Project was created to help pastors and rural churches.  You can help the ‘project’ by scheduling a Pastor’s Project Presentation.  You can help by sharing the website www.pastorsproject.com  You can help by telling others of the project’s two main programs; The Rural Church Initiative and the peer to peer mentoring program “Connections” and “Rapid Response”.

YOU CAN HELP   Remember it’s not my church, your church, or our church.  It’s His church.

Be sure to read The Pastor’s Project’s next article.  “The Clergy and Suicide.”

 

 

 

Goals to Grow

Wow, The Pastor’s Project has come along way in eighteen months.  Much of the credit goes to so many people who have volunteered their services and asked to be a part of the project.

On the horizon are some big events that involve some of our Bible Colleges and church planning events.

With that being said here are the 2019 Goals for The Pastor’s Project.  With these goals, they will promote ongoing growth for the project as it serves our rural churches and pastors throughout the Midwest.

Goal #1   Create 5 Rural Church Initiative Partnerships

An RCI Partnership involves matching a healthy and strong congregation with a rural congregation to help them revitalize their ministry and become the focal point of their community.

Total Participants:  10 Congregations    5 Partnerships

Goal #2   The Development of the “Visions Team”

The Visions Team will consist of  4-5 motivated teammates who have a passion for the church and its pastors.  Insight, ideas, prayer, and creativity will be essential elements to enhance The Pastor’s Project in its outreach to churches and pastors.*

Goal #3   Pastor’s Project Presentations

During 2019 the goal will be to conduct at least 20 Pastor’s Project Presentations to help educate and inspire churches, faith leaders, and believers from all walks of life.  Each presentation will focus on 21st-century issues facing pastors and rural churches, programs available via the ‘project’ to address these issues and then inspire Christians to rise up and in one voice take action to strengthen God’s church.

*If you are interested in becoming a member of The Visions Team please contact me.  It would be helpful if you lived within a 30-mile radius of Omaha, NE

Please keep these goals in your prayers.  The need for rural churches and pastors to gain support and assistance is significant.  Let’s make sure we’re there for them.

 

Come Join the “Vision Team”

One of my favorite and cherished memories that I love to visit from time to time is being a four-year starter of my college basketball team.  We weren’t the tallest or fastest and for that matter not all that intimidating.

But we were really good at playing fullcourt man to man defense and running the legs off the other team with a fastbreak offense.  Each of us starters had a particular strength.  I loved getting assists where a pass to another player led to a basket.  Other guys were great shooters, rebounders, and defenders.  You might say it takes a team to get a win.

Here at the Pastor’s Project, I’m searching to find some teammates to be on my “Vision Team.”  The Pastor’s Project continues to discover the growing needs of rural churches and pastors.  The opportunity to serve is now!

Here’s what being a teammate would involve on The Pastor’s Project’s “Vision Team”.

*As a team, meet periodically at a local coffee shop to discuss opportunities on how to grow the ‘project’. (Coffee’s on me).

*Help develop a long-term plan for the ‘project’ to stay focused on the big picture.  Are you creative?  The ‘project’ needs you!

*Share ideas on how to promote both the Rural Church Initiative and the peer to peer program “Connections”.  Are you a marketer?  The ‘project’ needs you!

*Develop a list of church leaders, pastors, Bible Colleges, and congregations to present The Pastor’s Project.  Are you a promoter?   The ‘project’ wants you!

If you live with 25-30 miles of Omaha (or further if this appeals to you), if you have a passion for the church and pastors, if you want to be involved with a ministry that honors God, then please volunteer.  If you have further questions please ask.

Keep in mind we’re losing pastors every week.  They feel isolated and in some cases desperate.  The statistics prove this trend.  Additionally, there are multitudes of rural and small churches on the brink of closing without help.

So call email me at RDCreek@cox.net or you can call me; 402-391-4364.  Tell me you are ready to be a starter on the “Vision Team!”

www.pastorsproject.com

Even Jesus Needed 12 Partners

A year and a half ago the Pastor’s Project went live!  Ever since then there has been an array of individuals who have come alongside to ask where they can be of assistance.

One of the recent additions has been Rustin McClure.  Great things often happen when we get someone else thinking of what might be.  Rustin is pastor of the church in Washington, Kansas.  When we first met he shared with me that he had previously been a firefighter in Wichita, Kansas.  Well, one thing led to another as we both thought out loud.

Now you’ll find an addition to the “Connections” peer to peer mentoring program of the Pastor’s Project called “Rapid Response.”  With his training as a firefighter and the many emergency situations Rustin often found himself in we paired that with serving pastors.

Here’s why.  Did you know that one of the highest rates of suicide growing in the U.S. is with pastors?  Yes, you read that right…pastors.  Plus pastors are suffering numerous forms of what could be described as a form of abuse.  Physical, mental, financial, depression, and others.

What we want to offer at The Pastor’s Project is an option for any pastor facing a critical situation to get help from a professional ASAP.  Rustin can be that person who is a light in the darkness.  He can also help individuals find the help they need.

If you or anyone you know find themselves losing hope and not having a friend please get Rustin’s contact information at www.pastorsproject.com

Six Ways to Deal with Control Freaks in the…

In small churches, each member has a greater impact.  This tends to attract control freaks.  But we can deal with them lovingly and effectively.

It’s hard to be an anonymous audience member in a small church.  But it’s much easier to exert your influence.  So what does the small church pastor do when we feel hindered by control freaks?

1.  Don’t try to Out-Control Them.  Trying to control a control freak is like fighting over the steering wheel in a moving car.  No one wins and everyone gets hurt.  Including the innocent passengers.
2. Don’t Use the Position of Pastor to Shut People Down.  “Because I’m the pastor!” is the worse thing you can ever say.  By the time you feel the need to say it, you’ve already lost more than you can realize.  It will be a big step away from long-term goals.  Battle won, war lost.
3. Don’t Move Too Fast   Pastors tend to earn the right to be heard.  The small the church, the more the listening matters.  Understanding the complex interweaving of a small church’s relationships, culture and history takes time.
4. Don’t Move Too Slow    There’s a window of opportunity in every leadership situation.  Move too early and they’re not ready.  Move too late and you’ve lost momentum.  How to find the sweet spot?  There’s no universal rule because every small church is unique.  That’s why knowing the church’s relationships, culture and history is so important.  It gives us the information we need to time it right.
5. Assume Right Motives Until Proven Otherwise    It’s easy to assume that people with control issues have wrong motivations.  Control freaks usually have good motives but are going about it the wrong way.  Be careful not to assign evil intentions to people without ample evidence.
6. Outlove Them and Outlive Them    Some control freaks are the concerned member who’ve been burned before.  Earn their trust and you can win them back.

None of these points are magic bullets.  Sometimes the control freaks are so embedded, they make pastoring the church impossible.  Sometimes the control freaks outlive the pastor.

But even if that happens, we need to love them.  Really and truly live them.  Even if they never let go of control, we need to rise above the battle.

Why Churches Need to Partner with Secular Community Groups

How can we reach our communities if they have no idea we love them?  And how will they know we love them if we don’t work alongside them?  Here are some reasons it’s important to work with secular nonprofit agencies in our church’s communities.

It Increases Our Sphere of Influence

There is more good work being done by churches than any other group of people in the world.  But many folks outside the church don’t know that.  Because we often insulate ourselves from others as we do it.

How can we be light in the darkness when we only hang out with other candles?

Every time we partner with secular groups our influence grows.   And there are greater opportunities for Jesus to touch more lives.

It Changes Their Perception of Christians and Jesus

When a local school had to cut their budget the music program was a fatality.  A local church raised funds to support the music programs that had been so severely cut.  Several of the public school teachers we so stunned by the church’s support that they were in near tears.  When asked who they were so surprised one teacher responded, “We thought you didn’t like us.  This is the only time in my two decades of teaching that I’ve heard anything from a local church other than complaints.”  Ouch!

How can we reach our communities if they have no idea we love them?

It Bursts Our Church-World Bubble

When we break out of our bubble of preconceptions and work alongside unchurches people, we have a better chance of meeting the needs and healing the hurts that actually feeling, not just the ones we think they have or should be feeling.

Church people tend to see one set of problems, challenges, and sins.  Unchurches people often see an entirely different set.

It Shakes Up Our Comfort Zone

I like my comfort zone.  It’s comfortable.

Hanging around fellow believers is easy.  Too easy.

We might have to engage in conversations with people who express ideas we won[‘t hear in church.  And we might have to listen more than we talk.  But it’s a discomfort that can drive us to be better, more Christlike examples.

It’s Less Self-Serving

When we only partner with fellow Christians, especially when we limit it to our own church, we will never reach our full strength in serving Christ.  But when we reach to secular groups in our communities, those people get to experience Jesus’ love through us.

It is a love without an agenda.

It Stretches Our Faith

When we work with unchurches people, we often hear unchurches language and see the less-than-holy behavior.  They can ask some pretty blunt questions about our faith.  And we have to be ready to answer, listen and love them.  No matter what.

It’s humbling

Christians aren’t better people than non-Christian people.

We all need Jesus. But we don’t always express that very well.  Sometimes, in our enthusiasm to share our faith, Christians come across as…okay I’ll say it…we can be arrogant, rude, prideful know-it-alls.  Arrogance is not a Christian virtue.

Yes, we have the answer.  Its name is Jesus.

But we don’t have all the answers.

Working alongside people toward a common goal is a great way to break us of that arrogance without compromising our values.

 

 

 

Seven Things Pator’s Wives Wish They’d Been Warned About

In a recent, informal survey the following open-ended question was asked of minister’s wives: “What do you wish you had been told before you became a minister’s wife?”

The responses are in order of frequency.  A representative comment follows each response.

1.  I wish someone had told me just to be myself.  “I am a people-pleaser by nature, so for me, not being prepared to handle being a minister’s wife with my personality was a heavy burden early on in our ministry.”
2. I wish someone had prepared me to deal with criticism of my husband.  “It was hard to deal with negative experiences, conflicts, or criticisms, especially in relation to my husband and our area of ministry.  So I would harbor feelings of resentment when it came to ministry and my man.”
3. I wish someone had reminded me that my husband is human.  “I wish someone had told me that my husband could not be God.  I was disillusioned at first to find out that he indeed is just a man.”
4. I wish someone had told me that others were watching us(the glass house syndrome.)  “Even though they are watching us, we don’t need to be controlled by what they expect of us.”
5. I wish someone had told me that are some really mean people in the church.  “I was really surprised.  I had to learn not to pay too much attention to them or they would get me down.”
6. I wish someone had told me how much my husband needs me to build him up.  “I need to be his cheerleader.  Dealing with critics in the church is difficult.  He needs to hear that I respect him now more than ever.”
7. I wish some had told me that my schedule will never be normal again.  “Your husband will be very busy.  Expect that.  But come alongside him in the area of time management and organization.”

Often the minister’s wife shares a burden that goes unseen.  In today’s world, she has her own job/career to make ends meet, secure health insurance, and make sure the bills get paid.  In most cases, she’s a Mom while constantly under the scrutiny of those who attend the church her husband preaches at.

Beyond the person who stands behind the pulpit each Sunday, stands the woman who knows him best.

Hey, Boomers! Let’s Step Up And Be The Elders…

We’ve been doing this badly, folks.  Here are three simple steps to help my generation of Baby Boomers become better at disciplining the next generation.

What’s up with this new generation?  The quick answer?

Nothing.

Nothing is wrong with the current and upcoming generations that hasn’t been wrong with every previous generation.  With one possible exception.  They don’t have the elders and mentors that almost every previous generation before them has had.

And why is that you ask?  Because (I hate to say it) my generation of Boomers is not disciplining the next generation, as well as previous generations, did for us.

Boomers, It’s Time To Become Elders

If you, like me, are a Christian and a Baby Boomer you need to know that our primary mission at this stage of our lives is to become the elders and equippers that every generation of the church always needs.

Instead, too many of us stand back, cross our arms and complain that Millennials are entitled, they’re lazy, they’re loud, they’re (insert your complaint here…on second thought don’t).

The biggest “sin” millennials have committed in the eyes of many of my Boomer colleagues is…not wanting todo church exactly the way we did.

Each generation needs to honor God, worship Jesus, disciple believers, reach their community, and teach the unchangeable truths of God’s word in the way God leads them to do it.  Not in the way they’re parents are most comfortable with.

A Generation Ready To Be Mentored

Like every generation that proceeded them, today’s young believers need the wisdom, kindness, and counsel of previous generations to become the mature disciples they want to be.

If we step up, they will listen.  But we can’t become the elders the church needs by complaining, demanding or whining about them.

Here are three ways we Baby Boomers can start to become the elders the church needs.

Stop Isolating, Start Engaging.

We won’t be heard if we refuse to participate.  We need to show up, help out, and worship with all heart and passion, whether we like the music or not.  We can’t lead, guide and help younger generations if we’re cutting ourselves off from them during the time the entire body should be getting together.

Stop Complaining, Start Encouraging

No one will open themselves up to learn from a person whose default response is to complain about everything – or most things.

‘Complainers have little influence.  Encouragers have a lot.  Too many compliments?  Too much flattery?  Those are a problem.  But there’s no such thing as too much encouragement.   If you want to have influence start by being an encouragement.

Stop Demanding, Start Equipping

Now I’m going to get blunt.

If you’re a mature believer, you need to act like one.  Show up at church to serve, not to be served.  Out yourself in a position of influence by becoming the servant Jesus calls all of us to be.

Stop demanding that the pastor, the worship leader and the young people (if your church as any) do church your way, and start asking how you can help the next generation serve Jesus with even greater passion and wisdom than previous generations.

We have the years.  The experience.  The tools. The maturity.

Overcome Ministry Burnout By Learning to Say ‘No’

Saying ‘no’ isn’t a lack of faith.  Sometimes it’s a necessary first step in narrowing our focus and strengthening our faith.  I’ve learned that saying ‘yes’ means more when it’s balanced by the proper use of the other word ‘no.’  In fact, a well-placed ‘no’ may be the most liberating word missing from many leaders’ vocabularies.  We need to learn to say ‘no’ to ourselves, too.

There are a whole lot of pastors who need to start saying ‘no’ in small ways now before they run into the big ‘no’ of ministry burnout and failure later.

Saying ‘No’ Isn’t a Lack of Faith

For years I’ve been told by well-meaning preachers and teachers that if I have enough faith, I can do anything I want to do.  But that is not true.  Or Biblical.

When ‘No’ is Good News

We have to say ‘no’ to some things so we can say ‘yes’ to better things.  When we choose one option, it always means saying ‘no’ to other options.  Once we know what we’re called to do, it becomes easier to say ‘no’ to what we’re not called to do.

I’m Not God’s Only Option

We convince ourselves that if we don’t do it, it won’t get done.  But we’re not the only tool in God’s utility belt.  God can do anything.  But I’m not Him.  What I can’t do, God can do through someone else.  I’m not an eye, I’m a hand.

Let Go and Say “No’

Are you, church or your ministry paralyzed by indecision?  Flaming out because you been burning the ministry candle at both ends?  Feeling guilty for the promise you meant to keep before you ran out of time or resources to do them?

Start saying ‘no’.

Now.

Seriously.

Take a deep breath and tell yourself this truth: I can’t do everything. 

Let go of what you’re not called to do.  Grab hold of that unique, faith-filled idea you are called to do.

Then be awesome at it.